back from another pizza

It seems that I'm such a pizza nut, that everytime we go eating it for lunch I have to post it... and, yes, actually I love pizza very much; but the point is that having pizza for lunch for us is a kind of party, comparing to what we usually have at our refectory ;)This time we went to a restaurant conventioned with our enterprise (it means we don't pay *cool*), where they make a delicious "pan-pizza": it means that they cook pizza in a pan, instead of in an oven. Never tasted it before, before of discovering this place; it's really good, it's smaller and softer than usual pizza.This place is in front of the ruins of "Filadelfia" stadium, the place that hosted all the games of the "Great" Torino (how is called the AC Torino football team until 1949... because at that time they were really the greatest football team in Europe... now it's even hard to call them "a football team" *wicked*). I'm a supporter of FC Juventus (a VERY involved supporter), which is the other Turin's football team (actually the best *lol*), and since there's much rivalry between the 2 teams (exp. from them, it's not that we pay much attention on what they do, since they even play in a lower league... but they absolutely enjoy when we lose some competitions... to be bitchy, I'd say that they do that since they can't enjoy their own wins, so they have to go on others' defeats!! *ok, sorry, I'm way TOO bitchy today*)... it's always kinda weird for me to go eating there, and to take the coffee at the "Great Torino" bar, where my colleagues usually take me (yes, they mostly are Torino's supporters *sigh*) ;) *LOL*BTW at lunch, we didn't talk about soccer, we've talked about Berlusconi :D Man, he's getting always more and more pathetic as time goes by... now this thing that he's flirting with the Finnish minister... and he had to say that in a press conference :S I always want to go hide somewhere whenever that man opens his mouth: I wonder which kind of bad figure he makes Italy do abroad :_( *elections, we want elections*And I wonder: since he's been the chairman of the most important communication lobby of the country, he should have on his side the most gifted communication/pr experts of Italy... so why, why he keeps on saying loads of bulls**t in his speechs?? I guess it's because he thinks to be very intelligent and funny, so he wants to do by his own :P*nerd*...Mmmm, I've put the water's bottle on the air conditioner, and actually it's got much fresher. It's another idea whose copyright goes to the cabinotto. I must admit it's sometimes useful to have such a charachter in the office, even if he keeps on stealing stuff to everybody. And almost anyone can't stand him, even if he's just arrived since less than 2 months :P

mumbling and mumbling

Actually I don't have anything serious to say (well... have I ever?! *lol*), but I'm waiting for my colleagues to go to lunch, and, since I've just finished a tough report, I thought it wouldn't have been the case to start another one that is gonna be interrupted soon. Or maybe any excuse is good?!? *lol* I have this contradictory feeling, that from one side I would be in the summer mood of doing anything at all (as we say in Italy "cazzeggiare"... that cannot be really translated: maybe it's something embedded in our culture), and, on the other side, I'm still on this adrenalinic-workaholic wave: I think in this whole morning I've had more bright ideas to solve troubles than in the entire past 7 months that I've been here. I can't say I hope it won't cease, because it will; but maybe that it will last long, at least ;)Btw tonight I dreamt my boss wanted to fire me because I didn't solve that thing of the lady that couldn't log to the site: I have a pretty guilty sense of duty :S My boss doesn't even know it since he's in Lisbon, right now. On another conference. He's keeping on doing conferences in the most beautiful European cities... Great job, I want to be a boss too :)Anyway, being workaholic is transforming these days into that kind of days when I'm totally happy and satisfied of having this job... And when I would feel really really upset if I had to lose it...

my city by the lake

black cat, black cat!!!

This one looks like La Nera when she wants to be geeky!!

...workaholic?!?

Today I can finally update a bit, 'tho I'm not that cheerful I used to be this morning, because I just had to phone to a client to find out why she wasn't able to log to one of our sites, and it's been a bit frustrating, because I couldn't fix the problem: I could log in with her userId with no problems but she wasn't able, and couldn't undestand why. Well, it shouldn't even be my job, it's the task of a colleague, but he is on holidays and I should do it for him... and it's been a bit frustrating not succeeding :(This is something that makes me wonder if am I getting workaholic?!? On the past 2 days I've been on a formation course (that's why I couldn't update), and we were supposed to come back home earlier than on a normal working day, but I returned one hour later than usual... and know why?!? Me and other 2 freaks WANTED (and this is the worrying thing: we WANTED it!!) to stay after the course to solve a difficult exercise they gave us and that nobody could solve. At the end we succeed and I was pretty exaltated: is it normal, I'm wondering?!? And is it normal that sometimes, at night, before falling asleep, I think about work's troubles, and, moreover, I sometimes even dream of them?!?! :SWell, maybe the point is that I'm a very stubborn perfectionist, and I'm not satisfied until things aren't solved: now this is particularly about work, but I'm usually like this for everything else. Someone may think it's positive, but I'm not that sure: there things that just CAN'T be solved, or, at least, it is human to fail and to have limits, so I shouldn't get stomachaches every times that something go wrong or that I'm not able to solve a problem... but something deep inside of me can't accept it. I try to, I really try to, but I can't. It's like inside my brain I had a very demanding coach training me, who always wants to win: I used to call him "little Marcello Lippi", when M. Lippi was FC Juventus's coach, because he was behaving exactly like this with the players, and moreover he used to smoke cigar a lot, so I thought it was the reason why my thoughts are sometimes so smoky *yuck*; but now our trainer is Fabio Capello... and, believe me, he's worse... much much worse!!Ps. talking about freaks: I'm starting to think that working in this place can seriously damage your neurons. I've just found out that my French colleague has his national anthem as sound for his phone... *geeeek* I would like to be so patriotic as well ;) ...maybe...

I've post...

I've posted this as a commen to something Linda has written, but since it's an old post, maybe not everyone will read it... and I thought it could have been an interesting topic.It's about dubbed movies:Actually I find it annoying as well, even if I'm used since in Italy we JUST have dubbed movies in theaters (not like in France, for example, that you can choose whether to see it dubbed or with subtitles). So when I really really like a movie I always get (hire or buy) the DVD as soon as it comes out, in order to watch the original version: it sometimes changes A LOT, actors can give so much different voice's expressions from the ones given by dubbers!!Then... the ONE thing that take me off the most: Pino Insegno. He's one of the most famous (and gifted, I must admit) Italian dubbers, but... he's most known as tv comician. A VERY silly comician... So, when you hear his voice, you immediately think about his stupid gags; and, when this voice is put on the body of the movie's hero, to me it makes him lack of credibility :SFor example he's dubber of Aragorn... ARAGORN!!! My hero!! Dubbed by a silly comician!!! *boooooh...* I was watching LOTR and shaking my head saying "No, no, no" all the time when Aragorn was speaking :_(Then I got used to it (or, moreover, I realized it was way too stupid to ruin the watch of LOTR because of this!), but when I watch LOTR on dvd (which happens pretty often ^__^) I watch it in the original version: I loooove Viggo's voice!!

I'm in...

I'm in a poetic mood, so I wanted to share with you one of my fave poems, by Jacques Prévert:On frappeQui est là Personne C'est simplement mon coeur qui bat Qui bat très fort A cause de toi Mais dehors La petite main de bronze sur la porte de bois Ne bouge pas Ne remue pas Ne remue pas seulement le petit bout du doigt....Ok, I try to translate it in English [stuff that I've already done once in my life and it was really hard... I mean, translating from French to English, though it wasn't Prévert, it was just some articles about Orlando Bloom: my Dutch room-mate in London was a BIG OB's fan, she was buying every mag publishing something about him; she was also buying Italian mags that I had to translate to her... and when she knew that I "speak" French it was my doom *lol* ;) ]They're knockingWho is there?NobodyIt's only my heart beating,beating so loudlybecause of youBut outsidethe small bronze hand on the wooden doordoesn't movedoesn't movedoesn't even move the fingertip....Do you like it? ;)

...I haven't ...

...I haven't been writing anything this week, as it's been so hectic: Pampurio (our most demanding client, for those who don't know him ^__^ ...of course this is not his real name, it's how I call him, between myself and me) has come back with tonz of new requests... I always dread whenever I don't hear from him for a couple of weeks, because then it means he's gonna give me so much work I could drown inside it ;)But anyway it's been a nice job: creating html pages it's what I prefer doing, instead of data analysis, it's something more creative, which give more satisfaction... I guess I've been put in the wrong office, as here we're mostly doing analysis, instead of web design. I should be in the office downstairs ;) (even if it would mean to be side by side with that hateful scruffy guy :S ) Actually I'm a kind of link between these 2 areas, as my job requires a connection between them... but, well, I guess you're not much interested to read boring details about my job ;)What I was saying?? Oh yes, I've done many extra hours, but with my new contract they're paid, so it's ok. And I'm so wondered I'm not even that tired: this morning I even woke up one hour earlier than usual (so it means at 6 am) and decided to take the train before, so I came to work at 8. I love the office when it's desertic ;) There's one hour left before we'll have lunch, and I'm already so hungry!! I guess it's because my colleague has sent me via e-mail a delicious collection of chocolate's recipes: they're really yummy and I've got so mouthwatered :9 Is anyone interested to have them?? ;)I still don't know what I'll be doing this weekend, I hope something funny, I need it. I wouldn't mind a bit of shopping, even if I've already done a lot the past one... let's say I will pay it with the extra hours I've done this week ;) It has just come to my mind that exactly in 3 weeks I'll be in Dublin... and I'm absolutely excited about it!! (but I'm still scaramantic: if my boss will play me some bad trick I'll make him get attacked by a hord of drunk lepreuchans... and it's not nice, man, not nice at all...)

....

...mmm...I forgot to resize the pics, they're enormous :S I've written that my humour is currently cold, because this is actually the temperature in the office: I'm freezing, man!! I'm even wearing my jeans jacket, and it's supposed to be June :SI'm waiting for the guys to go lunch: strange but true, it's been a few days that I'm not hungry at all, not even sleepy... OMG, what is happening to me?!? *lol*This was supposed to be a busy busy work day, since on Friday I've got this phone call from a client, which lasted 1 hour and a half, and with which I've filled a two-pages document with the modifies he's asked me to do in one of ours sites... and the deadline was the next week, so I was already prepared to do many extra hours...BUT at 11 o'clock my boss (who's just come back from Dublin, that motherf***er!!) ran into my office screaming that I had to stop everything because those people of the Tourism Office aren't paying us *sic*. So I said "Fine! I can go home": it was meant to be humourous, but he didn't appreciate that *lol*So now I can do nothing but post on LJ ;) Actually I'm a bit worried 'coz I know that, when they'll open the wallet, I'll have to do everything in a hurry...Yesterday evening I've watched "Quo vadis, baby?", newest G. Salvatores's movie and I've really liked. I've found particularly fascinating the idea of the girl making a "video-journal": she uses a videocamera to film herself telling her emotions, thoughts, facts of the day... same thing as a journal, but she doesn't write it, she tells it by voice. The actress playing this role was really cute and beautiful as well.Lately I'm in the mood of watching good Italian movies... In facts I hope that tonight I'll be finally able to end "The best youth" ("La meglio gioventù"): I really want to know how it finishes; yesterday I've watched until the suicide of Matteo... and I cried, it was really touching. I always cry like a fountain while watching movies, I'm so childish.

genova piccies

Here I go posting the pics of Genova I had promised to put on the journal 1 week ago *g*They didn't come out as beautiful as I'd like; I mean, they don't reflect exactly the beauty of what I've seen... but anyway...I know it would be useful if I wrote some comments... like which are the places I've snapped; but... I really don't know *lol*!! So well... hope you'll enjoy them anyway :D

pizza, yum :9

just come back from a delicious lunch break with colleagues: we went to eat good pizza... a serious one, not like the one they give us at our refectory ;)we were in 13 and had a lot of fun: i even joked a lot with the french guy who usually turns me a bit off, and it's been a nice surprise to find out his funny not-working side. hope this will help to improve our work relationship... from my side i mean, since he has this way of behaving that makes me feel kinda inferior and makes me angry.in general it's been a funny meal, and i've been glad of this, because it has helped me to remind that i'm lucky to have colleagues with whom i can get along well: i sometimes forget it, becuase i get way too involved in work troubles and isolate a bit, also because i'm in this tiny room where i am on my own most of the time... (or, when not alone, with the cabinotto: really i wouldn't know which one to choose *lol*) well, just wanted to put down in words that i've been glad about it... as i sometimes tend to talk only about negative sides of my job and not positives ones :)ps. we also did a kind of "age game", where the others had to guess the age of each one of us: i've been happy that everyone said my right age, and not that i'm much younger like people usually tell me, which i don't like ;) last summer, for example, a lady told me that i didn't look older than 16... which really pissed me off :S well, of course my colleagues couldn't tell me that i was 16 as they know that i'm graduated, otherwise i couldn't work here ;) ...but, well, i've been satisfied anyway *silly me*

"Wis...

"Wishlist" by Pearl JamI wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good I wish I was the full moon shining off a Camaro's hood I wish I was an alien at home behind the sun I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on I wish I was the verb 'to trust' and never let you down I wish I was a radio song, the one that you turned upI wish...I wish...A little question that comes into my mind every time I listen to this song: if you could choose to be one of these "wish" things, which one you would prefer to be?? I'd like the radio song, but also that "pedal brake" thing fascinates me: I mean, I've always considered the expression "being a brake" as something negative (for example, in a relationship: "You are brake for me, because, being with you, I can't do certain things"); but actually the pedal brake in your car is something you REALLY depend on, something that can save your life... This is a different point of view which I find interesting.Anyway... can anybody tell me what's a "Camaro's hood"?!?!

Other Nera's pics

Here's another pic of my little furry angel, who now is a bit sick. I really like this one with the tulips:This is the "distant" version of the one I had already posted:Here's a couple with Pixie instead, so you can see their difference :)This is old, Pixie was smaller than Nera yet ;) Nera is the firstThis is more recent:And this is the larger version of Nera's pic on the wall: there was Pixie, as well, on the right ;)

...doubts, doubts...

[apparently one of the only good things the cabinotto is able to do in this office is turning the radio on... but today he says he needs to concentrate, so he doesn't want music *sic*]Doubts are about my job, as usual, and they've come to haunt me once again, tho' the latest few weeks I thought I had climbed one more step towards the sureness that I love what I'm doing and I'd be glad to do it till my retirement...Don't get me wrong, I DO love what I'm doing, it's not that I loathe it (but sometimes I'd prefer... because then I wouldn't have any doubts wheter to change or not...); but but... there are so many buts.It's not about my workplace: it has some cons but also many pros, and I feel lucky to be here, as it is one of the very few places which nowadays can assure you a stability. It's about the kind of job: it's so brainy that I sometimes feel like all my intellectual energies were completely sucked by it, and moreover I don't think that being a programmer is my #1 skill. No, I don't have any longer the paranoias of the very first weeks, when I was thinking not to be good enough for this, not to be able to ever reach the level of my colleagues...No, it's not like this: apart from the fact that, after 7 months, I've got aware that the level of skill of (very most of) my colleagues is not that high, so it won't be totally impossible to reach it as well; but anyway I'm aware that I'll never be a top horse in this kind of job... I have my limits in this field, many of which I've even moved forward in these months, but I sometimes have to work mentally really hard and making big efforts to fix troubles and to understand things that are not my cup of tea but that I have to cope with.It's not so terrible, I'm also having my parts of satisfaction and pure passion about what I'm doing; but what I mean is: why do I have to be content of being pretty good in this job while in another I could be better??If you asked me one year ago, or even before (just after my graduation, for example), I would have tell you that my dream job was in the marketing/communication area. And actually it still is. I'm having a nice time as a programmer, but I honestly can't say this is my DREAM job. So what? When you talk with people it's hard to find someone who's doing what he/she has always wanted to do... and maybe I should stop being naivy and get aware that life rarely fits dreams, so be content of what I have, which is already a lot, and stop complaining all the time.But the other voice inside me tells me that I would be mad not trying to improve, not trying to chase my dreams. Just trying, just being able to tell myself one day: "Ok, you haven't what you wanted, but at least you did everything possible to get it". That would be enough, I guess I would be satisfied anyway.The point is that now "trying" is not any longer as when I was studying, when I didn't have nothing to lose: now I have a job, a good job that gives me so many warranties to lose; and I can't allow myself any longer just to dream, I also have to be realistic.Here in Torino it's already difficult to find a job in the marketing area; finding one that would give me warranties of a life-long term contract as the one I have now, is impossible.Then every job has its pros and its cons, and since I am a pretty paranoid/complaining person, I would probably not be happy either. But, as Manuela told me in the phonecall of yesterday evening (which helped me to put in words this feeling that haunts me), problems are everywhere, but if you're doing what you love they're much lighter.And I'm still so young... if I don't try to chase my dreams NOW, when I'll be able to?? When I will be 50 and will be able only to regret? No, I don't, I f***ing don't. In choices sometimes being rational doesn't pay. I don't want to get old and think to myself "Well... what a plain life I've done".As I've already written I do love my current job, but maybe what I like of it are the satisfactions given by the fact of creating something by yourself, of fixing troubles using your own brain, of being occupied the whole day in something... but not the job itself. The simple idea of doing this for my whole life gives me a sort of anxiety :S I would feel like I've been stuck in something I haven't chosen, something that doesn't really belong to myself...When I signed my contract I was aware of this: that maybe it wouldn't have been my path; but anyway it would have been something that would have gained me experience and knowledge, and moreover it would have helped me to know myself better, to know my skills and to know what I want from life. And this is exactly what I have now.Finding the job I'd like will probably mean attending an MBA master, which expensive and not easy to enter; but I'm gonna try this way as well. Maybe my new jobhunting will never lead to anything, as it's not easy, but I want try everything possible: if it goes wrong I still have this job.Aww... I feel better now. Less doubtful. Till tomorrow, at least ;)

Good things of the weekend

Monday is always a bit freaky when you have to jump off your lovely, comfy bed, but then it's just a matter of going on, and as soon as you put yourself again inside your daily office routine, it's ok.(well... I'm saying that because I'm so proud of myself, having managed to solve a problem that was anguishing me since last week *lol*)Weekend has been lovely.On Saturday I took the train to Genova... Torino's station was jammed with young people, as in the evening there was this big music event (Festivalbar) taking place in my city, so from one side I would have liked to go and see it as well, as it doesn't happen so often there's something so cool here; but from the other side I was glad to leave the city, as I'm not that keen on crowds and confusion... I'm like an old ma', sometimes ;)Anyway, I went to Genova to meet my friend and swapper Monica from La Spezia, and in the morning with us there was also Elisabetta from Genova: she's not a swapper of mine, but, as we were saying, one cool thing about slammies is that you get to know people even if you don't swap directly with them; so I've been so glad to meet her as well, since I've found out from her answers that we have a lot of things in common :)They are both lovely and kind girls, and I've spent a great day in their company :) We chatted a lot and went sightseeing in Genova, which is really a beautiful city, and I must admit this surprised me. In facts, I had already been there like 2 years ago, but at that time I didn't like it: actually that time we went to visit the Aquarium, so we just hung around the harbour's area, and since no one of us was an expert of the city, we had missed the best part of it. ...Which I've been able to visit this time, as I had Elisabetta with me, who lives there.I took some photos, as I always feel compelled to do whenever I see a beautiful place: I still have to download them from my camera, but I'll post them in the next few days, together with the one I took with Eli and Mo.Oh, and we had a delicious chees focaccia for lunch :9 It's Genova's speciality and I couldn't really miss it, since I love it. Then Elisabetta has been so kind to give their typical cake, with sultans and candy fruits, which now is already the half it was at the beginning :DOn Sunday I didn't do anything special, just relaxing: I've begun to read a new book, which I bought at the Book Fairy in May, "The Mabinogion" by E. Walton. In these days I'm coming back to my old love of Celtic sagas, in order to enter inside the atmosphere of my imminent travel in Ireland (awww...). I'm just on the very first pages but yet I adore it, it's the kind of epic, celtic stories I've always been in love with!Sadly I have to say that I've dropped the book I was previously reading without finishing it, which is something I rarely do. And, as silly as I am, I kinda feel guilty for it ;) It was "Luzhin's defence", first novel written by Vladimir Nabokov: it's the story of this mad, loner chess's genius... I've always been charmed by geniuses' bios, even if this one is fictional. It's really introspective, which normally I adore, but this time I couldn't bear it: I really needed something less brainy in these warm days, as I couldn't properly concentrate on it, and consequently I couldn't enjoy it as it deserved. So... I'll take it again later, maybe.Actually the weekend has not been just all peaches and cream because my beloved Nera felt sick. She still is, so I'm really worried. She has a terrible stomachache: when you touch her belly she cries... we don't know what could be. This evening mum will take her to the vet, so I'll hope she'll be able to recover :_(

La Nera is jealous :D ...

...as I've posted pics of Pixie first ;)I must admit Nera is my fave cat, as she's so lovely and cuddly... and absolutely nut, as well! Actually my mom always says we are very similar in charachter *lol*I could define her "a talking cat", same as Manu's Dolce, because she seems to make real "speechs" sometimes, and when you tell her something, she answers back all the times (she's a very polite cat, actually ^__^ ). She uses a lot of modulations of her meow, so sometimes she seems glad, sometimes annoyed, sometimes tired... and so on ;)She's also a very friendly cat and has no problem to socialize with any other kind of living creatures, being them humans, dogs, cats or whatever. She goes daily to greet our neighbour's donkey and gooses, and also the other neighbour's dog, even if she barks at her all the time. She's also adopted Pixie and is a kind of stepmother to her... but when they play is hard to distinguish which one is the kitten and which one the 5-years-old adult cat ;)At the moment I only have one picture of hers on this pc, but I'll soon provide to put others.Here she's in my garden:She looks very thoughtful here ;)

My cat Pixie

Ok... today is not a lucky work day... as our server is off once again, so I can't do anything *mpph*So, well, since Manu and Serena have been so nice to teach me how to put pics in the journal, I'll start with some of my cats :)I have 8 cats and I love them all; but this time I wanted to share with you some things about Pixie, who is the youngest one and also the most daredevil ;)We found her last August (almost all of my cats are foundlings, as we live near the woods and people has this awful habit to throw them away :S) and everybody in the house immediately fell in love with her:...And, as you can see, how could have been possibile otherwise?? She was a cute and cuddly little angel at that time, who loved to sleep over my shoulder and cried like a baby whenever she was left alone for a while.But... already at that time she had begun to show her real nature ;)... as you can see below with her stuffed mouse-toy:Now she's much much growed, not any longer that cuddly as she used to be... or, maybe, she just has a new way to show her affection ;)...showing you that she really adores the way you taste :DBut I guess she's the wittiest cat I've ever had, and with her in the house, fun is always assured.For instance, she has many hobbies and interests, like watching movies, for example:She's always very helpful in domestic chores, as well. Here's she was helping out in adobing our Christmas tree... thing that I had immediately transformed in a Christmas card (not for those who think that a black cat is a sign of sfortune *sic*):But the thing she loves the most, believe it or not, is WATER. Yeah, you've read well: she's a cat and she loves water. She's absolutely charmed by the sound of water flowing and could stay hours contemplating drops falling. We often find her in such a situation:Isn't she a crazy cat?!?!

in english as well :)

I've just decided to write this LJ in english...Not only to let my foreign friends to read it, but also because I sometimes prefer using English to espress certain stuff. Not that I'm fluent in it as it were my mothertongue; but I feel more at ease with it for communicating certain ideas, moods or facts. (see for example that silly "poem" you can read on my profile: I did NEED to write it in English, if I wrote it in Italian it wouldn't have meant the same thing to me)On the other side I have some other concepts and experience which I'd feel more comfortable to share in Italian... I mean, for example words expressing certain stuff which are embedded in Italian culture, or even in my local Turin's culture... (e.g. how can I define in English this colleague of mine, whom we all secretely refer as "cabinotto", meaning that he's a know-it-all, always SO much sure of himself, always prissy and cool with his tie&jacket outfits?? Who, by the way, also stoles my pens and doesn't tell me when he receives a work phonecall for me??? *grr*)So... (I always get lost into my own words :S) I can't promise I'll write the whole journal in English, but I'd like to try for the bigger part of it.Now I guess I'd have to begin work *g*... Today I've really no wish about it... Maybe is it 'coz I'd have to cope with the "nice" French and that other scruffy guy who always make me feel as if my brain was non-existent??? You know... I guess such sexists are in every office on the earth... but it' always annoying have to face them :((oh-uh... but maybe they're on holidays today?? Yesterday it was National Day here in Italy... so maybe they're on holidays, a-ha! Well... it won't change... because then I'll have to face them on Monday *sic*)

lunedì...

Stato semi-comatoso da lunedì... Ho sempre odiato il bip-bip della sveglia, ma adesso che ne ho una che suona la K300-qualcosa di Mozart non è che cambi la solfa...Non mi pesa il fatto in sè di andare a lavorare, ci vado volentieri, mi pesa solo il fatto di dovermi alzare dal letto ;) Diciamo che se avessi un lavoro che comincia alle 10 del mattino sarebbe fantastico.Se penso che una settimana fa a quest'ora ero a Firenze... che nostalgia :)E' stato un weekend bellissimo: pensavo di tornare a casa distrutta e meditavo di prendermi un paio d'ore di permesso martedì per entrare in ufficio più tardi e aver tempo di recuperare il sonno perduto, ma non ce n'è stato bisogno, sono tornata letteralmente ritemprata, con un'ottima scorta di energie e di positività che da un po' di tempo erano carenti.Era qualche settimana che mi sentivo vagamente spenta, non so bene neanch'io perché, forse era dovuto a tutta questa dose di letargia primaverile che avevo addosso che mi faceva sentire come una specie di zombie, che mi faceva vedere le cose come attraverso un velo, che non mi faceva più gustare bene la vita come al solito. Avevo perso un po' il gusto di coccolarmi, di apprezzare le piccole cose, di amare tutto quello che faccio...Triste a dirsi, e forse ancor più triste è il fatto che mi son resa veramente conto di ciò quando questo periodo un pochino grigetto è passato.Ma comunque... il viaggio a Firenze mi ha fatto bene al corpo e all'anima. Io sono normalmente una persona vagamente paranoica, che si lamenta pressoché di tutto, e quindi è significativo notare come in questa breve vacanza non mi abbiano infastidita nè la pioggia, nè la calca, nè il colombo idiota che tubava imperrito per tutta la notte sul davanzale della nostra finestra, nè la doccia ghiacciata della prima serata (perché sono io che son impedita e non avevo capito che il miscelatore funzionava all'incontrario, e quindi per ottenere l'acqua calda bisognava girare a sinistra anziché a destra *g*).No, non c'è nulla che abbia infastidita, perché la bellezza della città e, ancor più, la bellezza della nostra complicità, della solidità della nostra amicizia, del poter parlare di tutto senza problemi, del mettersi a ridere come pazze per cazzate assurde, superava tutto il resto e, se è vero che la felicità si riconosce solo a posteriori, credo di poter dire che in quei 3 giorni a Firenze sono stata sinceramente felice.O quantomeno mi sono sentita molto più viva di come da tempo non mi era successo.

my first post

Venerdì, finalmente.Avevo intenzione di scrivere qualcosa di profondo ed intelligente (possibilmente...) sul perché e sul percome ho deciso di aprire questo LJ, ma siccome più ci pensavo e meno trovavo una motivazione razionale, ho deciso che in fondo l'importante è cominciare... senza bisogno di scavare sempre a fondo in tutto :)Lo diceva anche la suora di italiano alle medie, che tendo troppo a chiedermi il perché: dicasi paranoia ;)Ma insomma... diciamo che non c'è un perché, semplicemente mi andava di aprire un LJ, punto. Forse è per il fatto che sono anni che non riesco più a tenere un diario per mancanza totale di tempo, e questa cosa un po' mi manca, per cui forse un LJ è un modo più pratico e veloce di "compensare" questa mancanza.Il fatto che abbia fatto la tesi di laurea sull'interazione on line (già 1 anno fa... mon dieu...) non centra nulla, non ho intenzione di perdersi in disquisizioni teoriche a supporto delle mie motivazioni. Basta essere troppo razionali, basta. Certo la differenza teorica fondamentale fra un diario e un LJ non si può ignorare a cuor leggero, dal momento che, potenzialmente, un LJ può essere letto da tutti e dunque per certi sfoghi non è la sede adatta.Ma pazienza, non è per gli altri che lo faccio, è più per me stessa... anche se si tratta di un meccanismo psicologico contorto, perchè preferisco non essere letta (da chi mi conosce... o perlomeno non da tutti) ma al tempo stesso trovo dolce l'idea che persone che non conosco possano leggere queste parole... e magari, non so, trovarci dentro qualcosa, un po' di compagnia, un pensiero che appartiene anche a loro...Ma ho detto niente disquisizioni ;)che altro dire?? beh, di cose ce ne sarebbero tante che mi passano per la mente: troppe, come al solito...E' venerdì, sono in ufficio, in teoria fra mezz'ora dovrei uscire, ma, come si può notare dal fatto che stia postando anziché lavorare, sono bloccata con quello che stavo facendo e ho bisogno dell'illuminazione di una collega che al momento è in riunione... ergo, non so se per le 16.30 si riuscirà a concludere.Il "caro" vecchio SQL mi sta dando un po' di grattacapi... o meglio, più che l'SQL in sè è il dw su cui dovrei fare le query che è un grandioso casino.Infatti, anche se fra virgolette, non ho avuto problemi a qualificare come "caro" l'SQL ;) E' che da una certa soddisfazione poter applicare finalmente qualcosa che hai studiato: mi da sempre una sorta di euforia infantile :DPoi, toh: sto anche riutilizzando il libro che avevo comprato per l'esame di Basi di Dati, e mi viene da ridere pensando che, quando l'avevo acquistato, tutti mi avevano dato della beota perché avevo speso 30 euro per una cosa di cui avrei sfruttato solo alcuni capitoli per un esame e basta, che tanto sicuramente non avrei mai fatto per lavoro... Mai dire mai! Devo dire che adoro questo genere di coincidenze, mi fan sempre pensare che Dio, o chi per lui, abbia un senso dell'umorismo niente male.Effettivamente nemmeno io ci credo ancora.Del fatto che lavoro come programmatore, intendo. Me l'avessero detto 5 anni fa... ma che dico, UN anno fa, mi sarei messa a ridere.In realtà non so ancora se è questo il lavoro che vorrò fare per il resto della mia vita... però per il momento son qui, e in questi 5 mesi, oltre alle volte in cui mi sono sentita una capra senza speranza, ci sono state anche le volte in cui ho sentito passione e soddisfazione per quello che facevo, per come lo facevo.Tant'è... "Gli uomini fanno progetti e gli dei ridono"... molto vero.